


She (Doesn't) Know What I Think About

by C1ashi1dr



Category: Doctor Who & Related Fandoms, Doctor Who (2005)
Genre: Confessions, F/F, First Kiss, Fluff, Telepathy, The Doctor is oblivious, Yaz is gay
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-26
Updated: 2020-04-26
Packaged: 2021-03-02 04:20:47
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,515
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23858983
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/C1ashi1dr/pseuds/C1ashi1dr
Summary: It's a standard day aboard the TARDIS. The Doctor is making repairs, Yaz is keeping an eye on her so she doesn't hurt herself, business as usual. Things start to change, however, when Yaz starts to question the Doctor about telepathy.
Relationships: Thirteenth Doctor/Yasmin Khan
Comments: 11
Kudos: 86





	She (Doesn't) Know What I Think About

**Author's Note:**

> yes, i'm back! just the general disclaimers, don't own Doctor Who, nor do i have a beta so i'm sorry for any mistakes. enjoy some mindless fluff. this takes place after Demons of the Punjab, but other than that there's no real temporal place for it.

The Doctor was acting strange. Well, stranger than usually. It wasn't often that the Doctor wasn't acting odd in one manner or another, but Yaz usually knew what she was doing. Today, however, was different. 

They were in the console room, Yaz reading some book or another (it was hard to pay attention when the Doctor had her sleeves rolled up and those goggles on her head) while the Doctor made repairs to something in the TARDIS. It was quiet, peaceful, with the boys having retired to the garden to stretch their legs. They'd been cooped up in the time machine for days, maybe even a week, Yaz could certainly understand their restlessness, but they'd all decided it would be good to keep an eye on the Doctor. She had a way of hurting herself while repairing it while frustrated. 

And the Doctor certainly was frustrated. She'd snapped at them over breakfast that morning, looking immediately like a guilty puppy after she'd done it. There hadn't been an apology (the Doctor didn't often apologize) but she'd made it up to them by not burning down the kitchen and letting Graham cook.

So it was Yaz's day to take the Doctor shift, not that she minded. She didn't mind keeping an eye on the Doctor, didn't mind taking her time to admire the muscles of her arms over the little noises of annoyance she would make when something didn't work or when the TARDIS sparked at her. The mumbled curses were also endearing. Well, Yaz suspected they were curses, they were in a language she didn't recognize.

Which reminded her...there hadn't been much noise from the alien in the last few minutes. A glance over at the console revealed why.

The Doctor sat on the floor of the TARDIS, sonic screwdriver between her teeth, hands deep in the wiring of the console (with plenty of the chords and bits of panelling strewn about the floor around her) and she was pouting. Proper pouting, the goggles up on her forehead. Her face was pinched up like it often was when she was annoyed or thinking.

"Penny for 'em," Yaz said. The Doctor jolted, the sonic falling from her mouth to clatter on the floor. It was like she'd forgotten that Yaz was there.

"Oh, no, don't worry," the Doctor said. "Just the telepathic circuits, they're a bit wonky at the moment. Were hoping to get them up and going again but the old girl isn't cooperating." She stuck her tongue out at the time machine and got a small beep in return that Yaz could have sworn was teasing.

"Telepathic circuits?"

"Remember back when we went to Pakistan? Used the circuits then. The TARDIS weren't too happy about that, so haven't been able to use them for a while. Figured while she was re-calibrating I could fix them but someone is intent on that not happening." She shot a petulant glare at the TARDIS before looking back at Yaz. 

"Telepathic?" Yaz pushed. "Like mind readings and such, right?" 

"Yes, essentially," the Doctor said. "It's very complicated most of the time, telepathy. But the TARDIS doesn't often like to put herself into an interface, so it's how she talks. That an’ it's good for precision navigation if it doesn't blow out the systems."

"So the TARDIS can see in our heads?" Yaz clarified, grimacing a bit.

"Not much?" the Doctor replied. "Like I said, very complicated. A TARDIS is supposed to be flown by six pilots, each of them Tim-my species." As she often did, the Doctor cut herself off before she could finish the word. "So she has to be telepathic because it's a lot easier to concentrate when you don't have to worry about working your mouth or even words-"

"So you're telepathic too?" Yaz asked. "You can read minds?"

"Sort of," the Doctor said, and she ran a hand through her hair. Yaz couldn't tell if her questions were annoying the Doctor or if she was having a hard time compressing the words so Yaz could understand. Probably both. "Touch telepath. Have to be in contact with another person to even have a chance of peaking in." Yaz couldn't help but raise an eyebrow. "Not that I would," she added hurriedly, ears starting to go a bit pink. 

"You can read people's thoughts by touching them?" Yaz clarified. The Doctor nodded, looking a little chagrined. "D'you do it often?"

"No!" the Doctor said. "Really big deal, goin' into someone's head. Try not to do it without permission unless absolutely necessary. And that's only happened once." Her eyes got that hazy look in them that they often did when she was remembering. Yaz almost felt bad for asking, but she was finally getting answers and that didn't happen often. 

"Done it recently?"

"Nah," the Doctor said, and finally turned back to focus on fixing whatever was wrong. "Not in this body. Probably did it once when I was the Scotsman but can't remember it that well. Not something I make a habit of doing. Really personal thing, even back where I come from. Were very unusual there too, can't imagine how a human feels about it."

"I think it's really cool," Yaz said, wanting to reassure the Doctor that she was interested in what she was saying. "That you can do that. Not a lotta species I know can do telepathy. D'your people have arguments in your heads?"

"Telepathy is different from everyday conversation, Yaz," the Doctor huffed, arm buried in panelling once more. "It's-there's this-it's quite hard to describe." She pouted and Yaz chuckled, setting her book to the side. It wasn't like she'd be reading it anytime soon, this conversation was too fascinating. "There's not words. Well, there are, but there's also impressions of emotion and memories. Very immersive experience." She sounded wistful then, so Yaz scooted a bit closer to where she was working.

"Show me?"

"Sh-show you?" the Doctor spluttered, dropping whatever she was fiddling with. There was a shower of sparks and a curse from the Doctor as she extracted her hand. Still, she stared at Yaz with a mixture of shock and apprehension on her face. "You want me to show you what telepathy's like?

"Can't be that bad."

"Don't think you know what you're getting into, Yaz-"

"Please?" Yaz wasn't an idiot. She knew that the Doctor seemed helpless to her requests most of the time. She'd taken them down Yaz's timeline with her there for goodness sake at a single ask and pleading look.

The Doctor looked conflicted, biting her lip before looking up and nodding. "Alright. But!" she held up a finger before Yaz could open her mouth. "Ground rules. Gotta have them for something like this. I'm gonna be goin' into your mind."

"Ground rules," Yaz repeated. "Got it."

"Right, Rule 1. If you don't want me to see something, I'm not gonna look at it. But you have to make it clear you don't want me to see it because sometimes I'm clumsy. Just picture a door in your head and close it and I won't look. Rule 2. This is a two way connection, and I'm gonna do my best to keep you from getting overwhelmed but again, been a while and I've never been good at all of this. And Rule 3...." She trailed off, giving that playful grin of hers. "We'll figure it out."

Yaz scooted closer until their knees were touching and all she could really see was the Doctor's face. The Doctor's eyes were locked on hers, looking for something. Yaz hoped that she conveyed every ounce of trust and faith in the Doctor in that extended look and a few moments later, the Doctor looked away.

"I'm gonna put my fingers on your head, just to make it a bit easier. Can y'close your eyes for me, Yaz?" the Doctor's voice was kind, softer than Yaz could ever remember hearing it. She complied, letting her eyes fall shut as the Doctor's fingers pressed against her temples, the tips brushing against the short hairs that had fallen free from the braid Yaz had put her hair in that morning.

There was a little moment of vertigo in her mind, like she'd stood up too quickly but it soon faded away and there was a warm presence surrounding her. Soothed instantly by the presence of the Doctor, she waited for an indication that the Doctor had made it all the way through.

 _Can you hear me?_ That was strange, a ringing in her brain but there was nothing in her ears. She could sense the Doctor all around her, feel her presence. 

"Yeah?" Yaz replied aloud without realizing it. She could feel the Doctor chuckle in her brain and it was a strange feeling. 

_Remember the rules, Yaz. Close any doors to anything that you don't want me to see._ And then she was fully formed in Yaz's mind and Yaz was fully formed in Yaz's mind and it was beautiful. They were standing on a rolling hill, sky open above them, a gentle breeze.

 _What is this?_ Yaz asked, getting the hang of this telepathy when she had a mouth to control. _Where are we?_

 _In your head,_ the Doctor said. _Another little trick of mine. I built this little bubble in your head, it makes it easier for both of us._ She shoved her hands into her pockets. _So...what do you think?_

 _Strange,_ Yaz replied, still getting used to all of it. _But I like it. Very comfy._ She chanced a smile that the Doctor returned almost immediately. _Are you gonna have a poke around?_

 _Maybe later,_ the Doctor replied. _Can we just sit here for a moment? Been a while since I've taken a walk around someone's head, takes a moment to take my bearings._ She wandered up next to Yaz, stood at her shoulder, stared off to the distance.

 _I'd like that,_ Yaz admitted and felt far more comfortable than she should have been with someone in her head. Maybe it was the warm presence in her, maybe it was the surge of adrenaline from doing something so close to the Doctor, sharing something so private, maybe it was something else, but Yaz had never felt more safe. 

The Doctor found a perch upon a rock, staring out into space, and Yaz carefully sat down next to her, letting their hands brush slightly. They sat like that for a few minutes, content to soak up the company and the beauty of the projection that the Doctor made. 

Of course, Yaz should have known that the Doctor couldn't sit still for more than a few minutes and soon she was bouncing her leg up and down, looking around.

_I think I've got my bearings now. Wanna take a poke around?_

_In my own head?_ Yaz asked and the Doctor nodded eagerly. _Just close doors if I don't want you to see it, right?_ Again, she nodded, though she hummed slightly.

_Gonna have to lose this projection. Too much to keep track of, but I might be able to keep the whole having bodies thing._

_Whatever's easiest for you, Doctor,_ Yaz said, and almost instantly the landscape morphed into a simple void. The Doctor was gone too, but her presence was still there, the smell of custard creams and oil still in the air. A light pressure appeared at the back of her head, pressing against it, almost creating a headache. She was about to ask a question, call out for to see if the Doctor was still there when the warm presence was ripped away from her completely.

Yaz's eyes shot open and she lurched forward with a muted gasp, stars exploding behind her eyes. She landed against the Doctor, head on her shoulder, breathing deeply as she tried to regain some sense of reality.

"Yaz?" The Doctor's voice was only in her ears now, not in her head and Yaz missed it so, so much in her head. "Yaz?" Her voice was more panicked now, there was an edge that Yaz barely recognized and, with a small grunt of effort, she moved away from the Doctor, trying to get into her own space. "Yaz, I'm so, so sorry-"

"Don't worry about it, Doc," Yaz mumbled, trying to get her voice to work properly. Everything was still out of sorts, her brain a bit jumbled. Head wonk, as the Doctor would say. "Just give me a mo."

And, to her credit, the Doctor did leave her to herself for a little while, disappearing under the console as if she'd die without working on the ship. It was a diversion from what they needed to talk about, but Yaz couldn't muster words and the Doctor clearly didn't want to talk. 

She sat on the floor in front of the console, watching the Doctor work, hoping that whatever happened hadn't been horrible. 

"I think I'm good now, Doctor," Yaz said when she felt like she could handle everything. "What happened in there?"

"I told you to close doors, Yaz," the Doctor said. "And I thought you did an' I was looking about and I-" She cut herself off, sliding out from under the console. When their eyes met, Yaz saw confusion and a bit of fear. "Why did you tell me about....you know....that?"

Oh. Oh. Yaz flushed and looked away from the Doctor, struggling to find words. She'd completely forgotten about all of that, had been swept up in everything and now the Doctor knew and...

"I'm not mad or anything," the Doctor said hurriedly, smacking her head on the console in her effort get up quicker. "I'm just surprised, you know? Weren't expecting you to feel that way about me."

"Why wouldn't I?" Yaz asked. "You're the most brilliant person I've ever met."

It was the Doctor's turn to flush and she shook her head. "You don't know anything about me, Yaz."

"And who's fault is that?" 

The Doctor pouted then, looking ever the petulant child and Yaz couldn't help the chuckle that slipped past her lips. The Doctor's pout only deepened and she looked away.

If you're gonna make fun of me, I'm not gonna let you choose where we go next," the Doctor muttered, crossing her arms over her chest. "Can't believe Yasmin Khan has the audacity to laugh at me."

"You're being daft," Yaz replied. "Does this mean you're going to kiss me or am I doomed to pine endlessly?"

"Shut up," the Doctor said, but she was grinning and Yaz took that as a go-ahead, shifting closer to her. Again, their knees bumped together, but this time it was Yaz gently reaching out, grabbing a fistful of the Doctor's shirt before crashing their lips together. The Doctor flailed her arms a bit, but immediately returned the kiss, hands coming up to grip Yaz's upper arms, as though anchoring herself. A warm presence shrouded Yaz's brain and she sighed slightly, melting into the kiss. 

Behind them, the TARDIS sparked and whirred gently

**Author's Note:**

> thank you for reading. feel free to leave a kudos or a comment if you enjoyed. come yell at me on my tumblr [@joanwolfe](https://joanwolfe.tumblr.com/) and feel free to leave prompts or give me some feedback. stay safe y'all.


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